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What should I do about not getting any playing time?

My little brother is 13 just entered high school this year. He has been playing Football every year, starting when he was 7. This is not just my opinion as his brother but he is a star player. When he played Pop-Warner he was chosen to be team captain for the last two years. He understands the game better then many of the biggest football fanatics out their. I know its easy to say I might be bias because hes my brother. I insure you i am not. The problem is he's lucky if he's in for two plays the whole game. My brother has not missed one practice all year. He ran 5 miles a day every day on his summer vacation getting ready for the football season! He mowed lawns in the neighborhood in order to earn money he borrowed from me. He bought a Bow-flex thing (Exercise Equipment). My point is, he's undoubtedly the most committed person I know. I dont know why he cant find playing time when I comes to game time. The kid can not practice any harder then he already dose! I just cant stand to see the look on his face when comes home after a game. A game that the team lost 38 to 7. A game he only got to play in for two plays. Two plays that seemingly had no chance of having any significances to the game. I dont know what advise to give him. Is their any thing I can say or do that would help him? I almost want to tell him to just quit but I cant. I mean I'm sure he is more fed up with his coaches as I am. I would quit. Usually the hardest thing to do in situations like this is the right thing to do. That would be to stick with it. On the other hand what is he getting out of it? What is to be gained by busting your butt all week only to be disappointed, embarrassed, and let down. I mean its a game. Its his passion too though. Is their any thing to be gained by him leaving his high school football team this year? I'm just worried hes going to get discouraged. I don't want him to loss confidence. I am just now starting to see a change in his competitiveness. I know hes a great player. Bottom line is I dont want him to lose his passion for foot ball. How can he rise above all the bull crap politics that this town and football team has. What more can he do to get noticed? By the way I am his only legel gardeain.

Public Comments

1. Well, maybe you could talk to his coach. Take your brother so you can both talk to him and just tell him in a calm way that this team is really important to your brother and he works really hard. And he wants to know why he's not getting to play more and what more he can do to get noticed. Just because its only a game does not mean that it isn't important to your brother. I mean, if he's good at it and plays through high school he could use this to get a football scholarship to pay for his college! So its a big deal if this is his passion and shouldn't get held back. I don't know the whole situation so making a call on what to do is tough, but talking to the coach would just seem like a first step.
2. Your brother shows a lot of courage and dedication. The problem is with the game and everything that goes with it that is beyond his power to change. You said he started at age 7. This is a very young age and at this age people are not always making decisions that are good for them. Coaches can have a very bad influence on young boys who are looking for a role model. Of course there is a tremendous pressure coming from adults around him, teachers, peers, TV and the whole culture in the USA, that says that football is an awesome sport and that also pressures spectators to follow the games and become fans of certain players. But your little bro needs to understand how huge the business of sports is and that he's only a tiny speck in it. You can do some Google search and you'll find that at a relatively young age professional players have their bodies all messed up with knee and other injuries that cause them lifelong pain and the need for painkillers and surgery, doctors visit -good luck with health insurance! Most important of all is to realize that competitiveness is not the finest quality in life. Try co-operation instead. The mentality of "us against them" is the same that makes nations go to war. Your li'l bro can set his sights on a better sport, one that does not require the huge set-up that football does. How about martial arts, or athleticism? Gymnastics? Dance? He also, like everybody, has an artistic ability that would bring him comfort and satisfaction if he developed it. He shouldn't feel silly if he feels like trying something that nobody else does. It's his right after all. There are many, many ways to spend time productively and to burn off energy without getting into the "national sport" thing. Help him to find the answers by asking gently lots of questions: how he made his decision, what he likes etc. He shouldn't feel obligated to keep going if it doesn't make him happy. All the efforts he's put in so far by exercising on his own are not in vain because they forged his character, but he must not feel that he's not good enough. It's the other way around: the sport is not good enough for him! Best wishes.